Things to Think About

I’ve always felt the pressure to “be better than that”.

Especially in queer and feminist circles. I’m always being told by outsiders that I have to “be better than that”. Form logical, rational arguments to appeal to people. Treat them with respect and dignity. I should never lower myself and get emotional or angry. Instead composure and control is necessary to work from within the system to change it.

But I am feeling less and less inclined to do so by the day. Because the people I’d “need to appeal to” don’t give a shit about me or anyone besides themselves. And it doesn’t make sense to demand that an oppressed group remain as distanced as the people who benefit from it.

It becomes “Sure, so you’re [gay, trans*, non-white, non-binary, etc], and you face discrimination and bullshit every day from people like us when we never have to face (or even acknowledge) it, but just pretend it doesn’t exist and don’t get too worked up over it. After all, we’re not getting worked up. See? We’re calm.”

Which translates to “Shut up. We don’t care. We don’t want to have to listen to you. And if we keep saying that you’re too emotional then we don’t have to take you seriously, and if you conform to the way we want you to act we can just continue to ignore you.”

It’s a lose-lose situation.
Play by their rules and you don’t get anywhere because they don’t have to listen. 
Stand up because you’re frustrated with being ignored and you’re just emotional, “crazy”, uppity.  

So I think I’m giving up being “better than that.”
Because working within this system is only perpetuating the system.
Note to self: don’t be afraid to get angry.